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Understanding the "True asian" CultureVietnamese FamiliesA romantic relationship with a Asian has a better chance of success if you understand her culture. Asian women live in a culture focused on the community, with the family as the core social unit. Here faithfulness to the family is a tradition. In the Vietnams, it is important to meet a woman’s family because the family is so important to her. If a man wants to be taken seriously by a woman, he has to visit the latter's family and introduce himself formally to the parents of the girl. It is rather inappropriate to court a woman and formalize the relationship without informing the parents of the girl. Vietnamese children are committed to their parents who usually went through a lot to raise them. Their desire is to make their parents' life easier. If you are capable and refuse to help support her family who may need help, she may not say anything, but she will neither respect you nor understand. Sometimes the family is more important than you. There is an Asia saying, that is accepted in the Vietnams, "You can get another wife or husband but not another mother or father" . This family loyalty is also apparent in the fact that Vietnamese families keep elderly (such as grandparents) instead of sending them to any institution. Vietnamese and asians are communal, interdependent people, not dependent, like in western cultures. They are so by choice and because of their cultural needs. When you marry one you marry the family at least the mother and the father, the siblings too usually. That is trite, indeed, but true. If you can't deal with that let it be known from the start of your relationship with your Asian. If she is a "true asian", the relationship may not develop. If it does she may not be happy in it, but you will never know. Asian SexualitySexuality in the Vietnams is distinguished by a double standard that expects women to remain virgins until marriage while men are allowed to enjoy sexual freedom. Young women who lose their virginity before marriage, whether through rape or in a relationship, diminish their chances for a "good" marriage, while young men can "sow wild oats" with abandon and be even admired for being so "manly". In the Vietnams Virginity is sacred. The culture and the family lets the girl know it is her responsibility to keep her virginity as soon as they are old enough to understand what virginity is. Vietnamese men are reluctant to marry a non-virgin even if they are the one who took the virginity! Vietnamese woman may not even be forgiven if she is raped. Yes, this is extremely unfair but that is the way it is and the Asian girls know it. Love, Romance and MarriageAs far as courting is concerned, asians are expected to be pakipot (playing hard to get) because it is seen as an appropriate behavior in a courtship dance. It is also one way by which the Asian will be able to measure the sincerity of her admirer. In order to legalize sexual relations or to avoid the stigma of becoming "old maids" young Vietnamese women feel pressured into early marriages. Unlike women, young men, on the other hand, are allowed to express their sexuality freely, and are sometimes initiated by fathers who take their sons to brothels for sexual intercourse with women. Traditionally, in Asian families the husband is expected to be the main breadwinner, chiefly responsible for the financial sustenance of the family, and the wife is "queen of the home". Vietnamese ladies equate domestic responsibility with being a good wife. They put their family first and they are more willing to sacrifice their career than their family. There is no divorce in the Vietnams. Vietnamese couples have only three ways to change the status of their marriage: legal separation, declaration of nullity, and annulment. Legal separation allows spouses to live separately but they may not remarry. Declaration of nullity presupposes that the marriage is void from the beginning and the court declares its non-existence. Annulment legally cancels the marriage and both spouses are restored to their single status. Vietnamese girls, are not only beautiful women but a delight to be around because of the famous Asian disposition and personality. Many men who have chosen a Asian for their wife swear that they are loyal, loving and faithful past death. Now that you understand a little better the Asian culture it is up to you and your common sense to find your loving Asian using an online dating service like or visiting the Vietnams. As in many parts of Asia, Vietnamese women take a lot of pain for little gain, with plenty of hard work to do and little authority at the decision-making level. Vietnamese women were highly successful as guerrillas in the American War and brought plenty of grief to US soldiers- After the war , their contributions were given much fanfare, but all the government posts were given to men. In the countryside, you'll see women doing backbreaking jobs, such as crushing rocks at construction sites and carrying heavy baskets . It's doubtful that many Western men would be capable of such strenuous activity. The country's two-children-per-family policy is boosting the independence of Vietnamese women, and more are delaying marriage to get an education. Around 50% of university students are female, but they're not always given the same opportunity as males to shine after graduation. One of the sadder realsties of the recent opening up to the West has been the influx of pimps posing as 'ta lent scouts'. Promises of lucrative jobs in developed countries are dangled in front of naive Vietnamese women who later find themselves enslaved as prostitutes. The trafficking of poor, rural women into the sex industry in Cambodia has been a huge problem and in many cases this involves the connivance of family members sacrificing one of their daughters for the rest to survive. The Vietnamese consider pale skin to be beautiful. On sunny days, trendy Vietnamese women can often be seen strolling under the shade of an umbrella in order to keep from tanning. Women who work in the fields will go to great lengths to preserve their pale skin by wrapping their faces in towels and wearing long-sleeved shirts, elbow-length silk gloves and conical hats. To tell a Vietnamese woman that she has white skin is a great compliment; telling her that she has a 'lovely suntan' is a grave insult. |
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