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Sometimes it pays to act like a virginTips From A Call GirlTracy Quan, FeaturewellVirginity is back, but it's more controversial than ever. Recently, a French court annulled a 2006 marriage on the grounds that the bride was not the virgin she had claimed to be. The Australian edition of FHM magazine recently published survey results claiming 28% of Australian men want to marry a virgin. What exactly are the boundaries between pretense and reality when innocence is claimed or desired? And what kind of man wants to marry a virgin? As a call girl, I would seem to be the last person to know about such things. Actually, I'm not shocked to hear that almost one-third of males in the magazine survey dare to entertain this retro fantasy. In these hyper-sexual times, virginity is undervalued and a rarity where brides are concerned. I can't resist asking: Were those FHM numbers "sexed up"? Well, let's just suppose they're accurate. If you are a certain kind of feminist, you will be outraged. You will see the glass half (or 28%) empty. A new Dark Age is upon us. Visions of chastity belts and bloody sheets on the wedding night block out the two thirds of men who sound reasonable. I tend to see each glass half full (OK -- two-thirds in this case.) So, what we have here is a majority of men who probably don't want to know your entire sexual history, especially as this could include things you did last week with someone else. A lot of men realize that the modern wife has a sexual past, and that's more than OK. As long as they don't know too much, they won't be asking for assurances of purity on the wedding night. Since most women don't ask about every single detail of a man's sexual past, this seems a fair deal. So much for the manageable two thirds. Those are the men most of us are likely to end up marrying. But what about the men who think they would like to wed (and therefore bed) a virgin? These unlikely bridegrooms are not, perhaps, so different from customers I've had who want to see a first timer -- a girl who's "never been paid before." I've been a first-timer so many times I've lost count. A smart call girl never hesitates to comply with a harmless fantasy and, God knows, this is one of the easiest to deliver, involving no dangerously unstable chandeliers or intimidating sex toys. The turn-on is in the lack of experience, and a big part of playing the part is looking the part. When you pretend to be a first-time call girl, you do not show up for the session wearing a black lace corset and seamed stockings. Pastel undies, low heels, natural lip gloss and a pretty smile are de rigueur. It is also much easier to seem like a newbie in the morning. No idea why, but as it gets later in the day, inexperience is harder to fake. Most madams will schedule such dates for the daylight hours, and many a nooner has been improved by the enthusiastic sighs of a girl like me doing it "for the first time." The most politically correct call girls -- sorry, sex workers -- might disapprove of this subterfuge and say that a woman should be proud, not ashamed, of her sexual history. I totally agree--be proud of your past. But you don't have to be so straightforward about it. And if you're really proud of all the sex partners you've had, you won't mind catering to a customer's virgin fetish. Did I say virgin fetish? Yes, I think this desire for a virgin (even a real virgin, in the context of marriage) is perfectly OK, as long as we recognize it for what it is: a sexual fetish. Incidentally, there are as many ways to be a virgin as there are virgins. So who knows what the men in this survey really want when they say, "A wife with five or fewer sex partners." What defines a sex partner? If she only had phone sex with him, is he a sex partner? Put another way, there is a first time for everything. In the sex industry, there is the first time you get paid, and the first time you get paid to pretend you're being paid for the first time. The latter is definitely more fun and it's usually more profitable. It was only after a thousand sessions as a call girl that I could appreciate the allure of innocence. Fortunately, it is never too late, and I've found that faking your "first time" is like faking an orgasm-- without all the bells, whistles and peel-me-off-the-ceiling sound effects. As an actual first-timer, I was abysmal, by the way. As an experienced pro, I really enjoyed getting into character for my customer and being the first-timer of my own fantasies as well as his. But these men who want to marry a virgin -- this is a far more serious business, you say. They won't be as tolerant as men who pay to be entertained because, after all, this is holy matrimony. Perhaps, but it seems that by placing the bar so high, a lot of men have "priced" themselves out of the marriage market. Maybe that's exactly what these wily fellows are playing at. Perhaps the men who say they want a virgin bride are aware they have asked for the moon. It sounds preposterous, I know, but men very often like to evade responsibility for their choices, or perhaps one-third of men do. Since the beginning of time, there have been men who aren't marriage material, so perhaps the survey only reveals that a full 28% of those male respondents are passive-aggressive bachelors. That said, I think men are surprisingly practical creatures. In this era of personal reinvention -- rampant cosmetic surgery --perhaps a lot wouldn't care to ask how a woman's virginity is accomplished. Perhaps they've noticed that women think nothing of spending money to augment breasts and lips -- so, what about having your maidenhood restored? I've not yet had cosmetic surgery, but I spend oodles of time getting my hair and other things done. I find that sensible men will avoid a lengthy discussion about the beauty salon, so perhaps the whole question of how a woman manages to become a virgin will also be overlooked? I certainly hope so. Any man who questions the matter too closely crosses a line. He ceases to be a fetishist (whose needs can be met if you know how to play along) and becomes a fanatic. As we all know, fanatics are never satisfied and their needs are implacable. - Tracy Quan's latest novel is Diary of a Jetsetting Call Girl.
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